Woah! Where did you come from? You’re beautiful. You’re like a freshly cleaned toilet, sparkling in an apocalyptic lavatory dumpster of smashed, soiled porcelain. Didn’t think you get such a compliment from a plumbing blog? Well, buckle in, because you’re about to go for a crazier ride than that time your grandpa accidentally attached his tow cable to your toilet and you smashed through the wall, hit the on-ramp at Lake Street, stopped at Starbucks for a cake pop + Grande Summer-Berry Lemonade Refresher (with light ice), caught a glimpse of a maple tree that looked quite dashing, only to stop dead in a Hacky Sack Rave featuring Post Malone, Stuart Skinner and your Grade 3 class that you miss oh so much (and everyone there has Post Malone’s face tattoos and Stuart Skinner’s moustache, obviously). To be fair, the toilet did look a lot like your grandpa’s tiny trailer and he was wearing drunk goggles instead of his everyday spectacles, plus he’s been eating his meds in his Froot Loops, and sometimes he pours in a 25 or 32 extras–so can you really blame him? We shouldn’t give him such a hard time anyways, because on top of this he’s been dealing with hard water in his house for as long as mullets have been around and glorifying our world.
At this point, we could naturally segue to talking about hard water or mullets–what do you choose? You choose mullets? Radical! But, you don’t get to decide things around here. So, hard water, here we go! Hard water is a common issue in many households, but its effects are often overlooked. Let’s take a moment to learn what it is, how it impacts your home and what you can do mitigate its effects and prolong the life of your plumbing system.
What is Hard Water?
Hard water is very similar to Hard Rock. If you were to take a Hard Rock band like AC/DC, and tell them, instead of playing Rock music turned up to 11, just play Water music and turn it up to 11, you would get Hard Water. Now you probably understand why many households deem this as an issue. Either that, or hard water contains high levels of dissolved minerals, primarily calcium and magnesium. That’s the boring answer, so it’s probably not true. But if it were true, then I’d have to tell you that those minerals accumulate in the water supply from natural sources such as limestone and chalk deposits. While hard water is not harmful to your health, it can cause a variety of problems in your home. Just like Nickelback, the leaders of the Hard Water music revolution. (Chad, get out my basement!)
Common Signs of Hard Water
Mineral Buildup on Fixtures: Do you cut your lips when use your faucet like a straw every night before bed? Those crusty mouth slicers are a clear sign of hard water. Wait–nobody uses their faucet like a straw? Alright, then neither do I. Can we still be friends?
Soap Scum: Looking for another reason to love hard water? When it hangs out with soap, they turn into those two people at your house, that NEVER.EVER.LEAVE. You can try everything, but they’re stuck there. Good luck. I mean, in both cases, intense scratching with the rough side of a sponge should work. In my experience, most people/soap scum don’t enjoy that.
Stiff Laundry: If your go-to texture for a sweater is cat tongue, then hard water is your best friend. And there’s no better feeling than getting out of the shower and drying your body with a towel made of bricks–that’s hard water at work!
Water Spots: I know you want to relive those glory days of high school–instead of embarrassing red spots on your face, hard water gives you embarrassing white spots on your glasses.
Reduced Water Flow: Showers are the best when they feel like you’re standing under a melting icicle, getting clean drop by drop. If you agree with this statement, your name is Har Dwotter. Stop reading my blog, Har.
Solutions for Dealing with Hard Water
Eviction Notice: You could write a beautiful letter, notifying Har Dwotter of eviction, then flush it down the toilet–because either a) that’s where Har Dwotter lives or b) it’s useless to try to communicate to water using letters–everyone knows morse code is the only way to go.
Water Softeners: Installing a water softener is one of the most effective ways to combat hard water. These systems work by replacing calcium and magnesium ions with sodium or potassium ions, effectively softening the water. It’s kind of like replacing all of your rock pillows in your house with actual pillows. Remind me next time we chat to ask why you’ve been using rock pillows.
Descaling Agents: In 1997, a masterpiece of film was released, known as Men In Black. Little did you know, it was based off of scale buildup due to hard water. The aliens are the mineral buildup, Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones are the descaling agents, and New York City/planet earth are your appliances and fixtures. You caught me, I’m lying–but how neat would that be? I’ll tell you now, ‘a little bit neat.’
Vinegar Soaks: Everyone enjoys a good soak, even inanimate objects like showerheads named Timmeh and faucets named Lee Key (they’ve told me). Soaking them in vinegar can help dissolve mineral deposits and improve water flow.
Routine Maintenance: Regularly flushing your water heater and checking all over your house for signs of buildup can help maintain efficiency and prevent massive issues. Regularly flushing your toilet is a great idea, too. Otherwise, other stuff may build up–but we don’t need to get into that.
Later Y’all!
If you need a plumber, have any questions or just want to talk about zooming down the QEW on a toilet, be sure to call or text us at 289-244-9843, because at Go Green Plumbing, we are always happy to help.
